We say “sorry” a lot. Sometimes we mean it. Other times, we just want to show we care.
But did you know that saying “sorry” too often—especially when it’s not your fault—can make you seem less confident or even powerless? Instead, there are other phrases you can use to show empathy without saying “sorry.” 💬
If you’ve ever felt unsure about what to say when someone shares something hard or painful, you’re not alone. Many of us want to help, but we don’t always know how.
That’s why it helps to learn what to say instead of: sorry to show empathy. You’ll not only connect better with others, but you’ll also feel more confident and kind in your words.
Let’s look at helpful ways to be thoughtful, supportive, and clear—without always saying “sorry.”
1. Why Saying “Sorry” Isn’t Always the Best Choice
We’re taught that “sorry” is polite. And sometimes it is! But overusing it can make you seem guilty or unsure—even when you’re not at fault.
Example:
Your friend says, “I’ve been feeling really tired lately.”
Instead of: “I’m sorry.”
Try: “That sounds really tough. Want to talk about it?”
💡 Saying “sorry” puts the focus on you. But showing empathy means focusing on the other person’s feelings.
2. Try “That Sounds Difficult” Instead
This phrase shows you’re listening and that you care. It doesn’t shift the focus to you, and it doesn’t make the other person feel like they’ve burdened you.
Example:
Coworker: “My mom’s been sick, and it’s been hard to focus at work.”
Instead of: “Sorry to hear that.”
Try: “That sounds really difficult. How are you holding up?”
👍 This response keeps the focus on the person and opens space for more sharing.
3. Use “I Can’t Imagine How That Feels”
Sometimes, someone’s experience is so deep or personal that it’s hard to relate. Saying this shows honest care and respect.
Example:
Friend: “I lost my pet last week.”
Instead of: “I’m sorry.”
Try: “I can’t imagine how that feels. I’m here for you.”
👏 This shows empathy without pretending you understand something you don’t.
4. Say “I’m Here for You”
Sometimes, people don’t want advice. They just want to know they’re not alone. This phrase gives comfort and support.
Example:
Sibling: “Everything feels like it’s going wrong right now.”
Instead of: “Sorry you’re going through that.”
Try: “I’m here for you. Want to hang out or talk more?”
🌱 It tells the person you care, without placing blame or pity.
5. Use “That Must Be Frustrating/Hard/Confusing”
Naming the emotion helps people feel seen and understood. It shows you’re paying attention.
Example:
Teammate: “I’ve been doing all this work, and no one’s noticed.”
Instead of: “I’m sorry.”
Try: “That must be really frustrating. You’ve worked so hard.”
🔥 This shows real connection and validation of their feelings.
6. Ask “What Do You Need Right Now?”
When someone is upset, you might not know what to say. This question puts the power back in their hands and shows real empathy.
Example:
Friend: “I’ve had a really bad day.”
Instead of: “Sorry to hear that.”
Try: “What do you need right now? Want to talk, vent, or just sit quietly?”
🌼 Sometimes, just offering to listen is the best gift.
7. When It’s Okay to Say “Sorry”
Of course, there are times when “sorry” is needed and honest—like when you’ve hurt someone or made a mistake. But when you’re only trying to show care, there are better ways.
Tip: If you didn’t do something wrong, you don’t need to apologize. Use supportive words instead.
Final Thoughts:
You don’t need to say “sorry” to show you care. In fact, learning what to say instead of: sorry to show empathy can make your relationships stronger. Use words that reflect understanding, kindness, and connection. Whether you’re at work, with friends, or supporting family, these simple phrases can help you speak from the heart—without over-apologizing.
